Hypocrites

Why do parent’s teach their kids manners? I mean, what’s the point? Parents teach their kids not to lie, not to hit, and to just be a good person. “Don’t be bad,” they say. They teach their kids to listen, to compromise, and to say they’re sorry. Why do parent’s teach their kids these things? It can’t be because they want their kids to be good examples of human beings just like themselves. If that were the case then all the adults in the world who teach their kids these things would act that way. Do they? For the most part…no.

If they followed the rules they set for their kids then they wouldn’t lie. They wouldn’t say they are fine when they aren’t. They wouldn’t cheat, and say they still love the person they are with.  They wouldn’t make up stories to impress their friends.

If they followed the rules they set out for their kids then they wouldn’t hit. They wouldn’t lay a harmful finger on anyone. They wouldn’t abuse their spouse, or kick their kids. They wouldn’t keep guns, or other weapons, in their house, and make violence seem like the right answer…but only if they’re an adult, because if a kid hit their brother or sister, or another kid, then they get sent to bed without dinner, or they get yelled at and put in the time-out chair.

If parents followed the rules they set out for their kids then they would be good people. They wouldn’t talk about people behind their backs. They would hold the door open for others. They would smile a little wider, and laugh more often. They wouldn’t make faces, or judge a person just because they are different, because no two people are the same.  They would, very simply, just be good people. They wouldn’t pull others down to get to the top, they wouldn’t end a friendship over something stupid, and they wouldn’t ignore someone who once meant everything.

 If parents followed the rules they set for their kids then they would listen. They wouldn’t just hear what people are saying, they would actually listen. They would realize that sometimes people need to vent, and that doesn’t always mean they are yelling or complaining. They would pick up the phone, read the text, open the letter, and save the email. They would listen with an open mind, and not judge. They would put their two cents in, or give their advice, only when it’s needed; not all the time.

 If parents followed the rules they set for their kids then they would compromise. They wouldn’t be so stubborn. They would realize that two ideas combined could have much more potential than the one idea that won the fight. They would talk things out with people instead of shutting them down. They would appreciate the beauty of opinion, and agree to disagree.

If parents followed the rules they set out for their kids then they would apologize. They would grasp the idea that just because they apologize that doesn’t mean they were wrong, and the other person was right, necessarily. Instead they would understand that apologizing means, simply, that they care more about being an alliance, and less about being enemies. They would understand that, even if they think they weren’t in the wrong, someone else felt that they were. And sometimes that someone else is hurt, and all they want is an apology. Parents would realize that there are two sides to every conflict, and if one parent apologizes for their actions, then the other parent would also apologize for theirs. They would grasp that life is not a one-way street, and if someone were hurt they would understand they need to apologize. They would appreciate the power two words can have on a relationship. And no matter the situation, they would always say, “ I’m sorry.”

So again, I ask, why do parent’s teach their kids manners? What is the point in hammering it in their heads if, at some point, they enter this world with those manners, and the same parents who taught them call them naïve when the kids realize, for that first time, that manners don’t mean anything anymore? Why teach them these things when they will be quickly replaced with an ugliness of heart that society deems status quo?

Why waste our time teaching our kids these wonderful qualities if we aren’t even willing to follow them ourselves. If we teach our kids not to be hypocrites, then why are we being hypocritical of our own advice? Why can’t we all just simply follow the rules we set out for our children?